Food, selfies (please boost!), cat pictures.
Captain of butts.team.
I work in tech but I am one of the good ones.
Profile background art by @kgmarcy
Things cops won't actually help you with in any material way, even if you're white:
* Stop an ongoing home invasion* Stop an ongoing robbery* Help in a mental health crisis* Resolve a domestic dispute
when a cat lays down on you by body slamming 🥰
I might be one of the good ones BUT ask Jen because I broke her heart so yeah watch out for that
The worst part about Fat Wife is that you can’t call out sightings in the wild without getting your ass kicked by a hot fat milf
@mood super chill, i am chasing my dreams, or so they tell me
@flowerenby okay that is way cooler
@flowerenby i want to pronounce lORE as "Eeyore"
Fat Wife summer is upon us
It still smells like smoke in here lol
nearly been here 3 years now and i don't think there's a stronger contender for 'funniest incident on the fedi' than that time someone everyone was mufos with suddenly announced they had decided to become a cop in a toot, wild
I like to toast my oatmeal in the pan a tiny bit before I add water and I accidentally left it on the stove too long and didn’t notice until I could smell oat smoke, oops
Good morning pocket friends
a lot of questions about my "BE AWARE OF BUTT" sign that could be answered by reading the sign
Long loading screens and “frame rates” are among the many hardships faced by the modern gamer
selfie, eye contact Show more
First selfie of the year featuring Pasha
Hello I have 20+ years of SRE/DevOps/Sysadmin and programming experience. Do you know an appropriate job for me for around 30 hours a week? Are you hiring? DM me!
I think I was born in the wrong time and place
I have unfortunately been run over by a tank.
Butts: Everyone has one!