Zack @zenhob@butts.team

It’s really easy to tell if a watermelon is ripe! First off: thumping doesn’t help, and weight isn’t really a good indicator. But that’s okay because the easiest way to tell is by color. Look for a spot on the melon that’s lighter in color than the rest of the rind: this is the spot that was touching the ground while the melon was growing! If that spot is white, the melon isn’t good yet. When that spot turns yellow, the watermelon is ripe!

I'm sorry bb but I had a weird morning and then I was setting up my bed and then the maintenance man came and it was too much so your makeup video got postponed till the weekend. Here's a consolation selfie 💛💛💛

The point of anti-fascism is not to make fascists afraid. Fascists are already afraid, that's why they're fascists. They have a fear based worldview. The point of anti-fascism is to make sure that fascists are isolated, unable to connect with, organize and mobilize other fascists. The point is to make fascists lonely.

More than 50% of people in surveys responded that anything lower than a 7/10 in IMDB would cause them to skip out on watching a movie. Almost 50% of users will cancel their ride if the driver has been rated anything less than 4.5/5.

"A four star rating is working as expected, a five is for exceeding expectations"

a five star rating system really starts at 4.0 and goes to 5.0.

1/5 - it's the worst
2/5 - has one redeeming quality
3/5 - has flaws
4/5 - eh
5/5 - it's good you should try it

Apps 820Mb
Contacts 36Mb
OS 0.9Gb
Videos of My Dog 62Gb
Downloads 80Mb
someone who is good at harddisks please help me budget this. my phone is dying

i might “ssh” into your linux terminal later on and rejigger some files... am i using these words right? i might “ssh” into the cafeteria later for a bowl of fruit loops

Impressing lovers with my bra-unhooking technique. It involves garden shears and an apology

I’m pooping and I told bae I had to pee (because I didn’t realize I had to poop) and he’s waiting for me outside. I always wonder what he’s thinking at times like this. Is he like damn she’s a liar or is he just like whatever.

it's my birthday gimme some boosts

sometimes i feel bad about eating spare ribs, but then i think about how all those pigs can suck their own dicks now

what does she see.......

favorite comment chain

Bash tricks by Julia Evans

Has everyone seen the header image on the Wikipedia article about pikas

the Radical Monarchs inspire me so much. i love rad youth orgs

http://radicalmonarchs.org/

“Kickstarter workers are now the first white collar workers at a major tech company to successfully unionize in the United States, sending a message to other tech workers.”

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3a8pp5/kickstarter-employees-win-historic-union-election

keep fucking that chicken, I'm reloading

at my funeral i would like everyone to take turns reading off my all-time worst toots and then saying "fuck off you dead loser"

the cool boss is here