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how to tell whether a watermelon is ripe 🍉 

It’s really easy to tell if a watermelon is ripe! First off: thumping doesn’t help, and weight isn’t really a good indicator. But that’s okay because the easiest way to tell is by color. Look for a spot on the melon that’s lighter in color than the rest of the rind: this is the spot that was touching the ground while the melon was growing! If that spot is white, the melon isn’t good yet. When that spot turns yellow, the watermelon is ripe!

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how to tell if a pear is ripe, this will change your relationship to pears 

None of you know how to ripen a pear and that’s okay! I am here to help. A perfectly ripe pear is one of life’s great joys but most folks don’t know how to identify one! So they get a bad rap.

The thing is, pears ripen from the core outward, so by the time the flesh is soft on the outside it’s too late! What you want to do is feel the flesh right around the stem, when it's soft the pear is ripe. Try it! 🍐

Good morning. I tried playing Dynasty Warriors, I am terrible at it

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working from home, lewd 

sorry I didn't deploy earlier, I was too busy getting mad pussy

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screw your non-fungible tokens. me, I want my tokens to funge. I want them to funge and never stop funging. permafungible. nothing but funge, beginning to end.

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It's Fuck Up Friday let's get out here and make some fucking misteaks

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I’m currently looking for work. If anyone has any programming contracts available, please let me know.

At this point in time, if anyone can help me by supporting me on Patreon I’d greatly appreciate it while I persue a stable income.

https://www.patreon.com/chrisgnome

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butts.team

Butts: Everyone has one!